1 April, 2010
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:
Psychochild.org to become Facebook Game Portal
San Francisco, California - March 31, 2010 Internet site Psychochild.org -- long-time home of the weblog of professional game developer Brian Green -- was sold in a cash and stock swap to cutting edge social game developer Zynga Game Network Inc.
"We're known about Psychochild.org for a while. While the writing was not terrible, we think internet site names relating to MMO games are the hot new platform to expand our game offerings." according to Peter Robert Flack, a spokesperson for Zynga.
"In cooperation with Raph Koster, we won't be happy until we've completely shut down the dinosaurs known as MMO games. Knowing that Brian was distracted by new contract work that he seems to be enjoying, we offered him something shiny for signing a piece of paper that gave us rights to his former internet domain. We included some cash and stock to make the agreement appear legit for legal purposes," Mr. Flack continued.
"You know what I hate?" former Psychochild.org owner Brian Green asked when we requested a quote. "I really hate people, y'know? That's what makes me a good MMO developer, y'know. Y'know, I just really don't care about the stupid fuckers. Wait, who the fuck are you? Get away from that bottle!"
The Psychochild.org transition will take place sometime after the increased bandwidth usage spike across the internet typical for early April.
ABOUT ZYNGA GAME NETWORK INC.
Founded in 69 B.C., Zynga is a small group of scrappy game developers making indie type games. They secured a few rounds of funding in order to accomplish their goals, such as re-writing history to be the longest running game company on record. When not figuring out how to include a heroin drip when player spend money in their games, Zynga's developers sit around chomping cigars plotting how to kill "real games" that "real gamers" love in order to force them all to play Farmville.
ABOUT BRIAN 'PSYCHOCHILD' GREEN
A bitter, bitter man, Mr. Green has been active in game development longer than some Farmville players have probably been alive. Given to fits of depression, he used to write a wordy blog and try to educate people about games and game development and get them to stop being so goddamned stupid. He can sometimes be found in the fetal position under his desk, crying about how the monsters are out to get him. Often, however, he's a world-renown game designer. When he's sober.