Psychochild's Blog

A developer's musings on game development and writing.

3 August, 2009

The loss of another good friend
Filed under: — Psychochild @ 6:17 PM

I had to put my cat Morpheus to sleep today. He was suffering from a whole host of health complications, unfortunately. So, if I’m a bit slow to respond to emails the next few days you’ll know.

Morpheus was the first cat I got living on my own. He was the only male of a litter of cats a friend had by accident. He also happened to be one of the all-black ones. I called him “Morpheus”, after the god of sleep, because he always fell asleep in my arms when I held him as a little kitten. Kat picked out his sister, who she named Macha, who was also black; she passed away a while ago. Together, they had Loki, who passed away three years ago.

He had been having health problems for a while. He wasn’t eating or drinking much, dropping from a peak of 16 pounds to only 6. One of his eyes was cloudy; the vets suspected lymphoma, but without spending a few thousand dollars on tests we couldn’t know for sure. After spending a lot only to learn dire news with Loki, I wasn’t eager to spend that much money, especially in this economy. We gave him some steroids to try to get him to eat, but they only worked for a few days. Most recently he had been stumbling around, showing weakness in his back legs. The vet thinks he might have had a blood clot restricting blood flow to his legs. Again, it’d take quite a bit of money to do a full work up, and he’s not in the best of health, and the vet thought we might be able to extend his life by only a few weeks at best. He was also jaundiced, and his body temperature has been dropping. It was a preponderance of problems that just made him miserable and uncomfortable. He wasn’t going to be saved at the last minute.

We’ve got a bottle of good whiskey to send him off. He’s survived by two other black cats, not related. I miss him already.


  1. My friends cat did the same recently. Sorry about your lose.

    Comment by CodeJustin — 3 August, 2009 @ 7:32 PM

  2. So sorry for your loss. :( Third time a blog post drove tears to my eyes.

    Comment by Oliver — 4 August, 2009 @ 12:22 AM

  3. Sorry about your loss :(

    Comment by Isilion — 4 August, 2009 @ 12:58 AM

  4. I feel your pain. I also have many cats at home, but one was special to me. It is not that you pick your cat, the cat picks you. She was not my first cat, but she was madly in love with me. And I got to love her, too. There is a long story to it how I at first thought this is a shy cat, I had to lure her out from the rest room and all that. Her siblings on the other hand immediately came purring to me and others, which made me wonder if I was not given the worst of the litter. But somehow my friend picked the right cat for me.

    She got very gold and died of old age. She came to me about half an hour before she died, already having trouble to walk. She dropped to the side and I thought she would die a few days earlier already. Then she passed out sleeping in my arms, and I somehow knew she was going to die now. She lost weight at the end, too, but she did not suffer.

    I still have two of her kittens, they are quite old by now, too. But she was very special to me, I saved photos of her on many different media to make sure I do not lose them. Some people might say I am mad, but her loss hurt me more than that of my grandfather.

    Nobody is really dead as long as someone is around who loved and fondly remembers him/her. It is unfair to my other cats, but it speaks of the special bond I had with her that I still mourn her loss.

    I have no solace for you, I can only tell you that I share your pain and feel with you.

    Comment by Longasc — 4 August, 2009 @ 3:13 AM

  5. Very sorry to hear.

    Comment by Stabs — 4 August, 2009 @ 3:20 AM

  6. I’m sorry to hear that. The passing of a pet is always rough and I just went through that with one of my best friends. His poodle was quite ill for a while. It is rough to watch.

    Comment by Ferrel — 4 August, 2009 @ 7:13 AM

  7. Sorry to hear it Brian.

    Comment by Matt Mihaly — 4 August, 2009 @ 10:15 AM

  8. I’m sorry for your loss.

    Comment by foolsage — 4 August, 2009 @ 10:23 AM

  9. Sorry to hear your bad news, Brian. :(

    Take care.

    Comment by Muckbeast — 4 August, 2009 @ 10:53 AM

  10. That’s rough. Cats are the worst to lose.

    Comment by Gar — 4 August, 2009 @ 11:56 AM

  11. Midnight curled content,
    Beneath the infinite heavens.
    He sleeps the eternal sleep,
    Dream within his dream.

    Sorry for your loss.

    Comment by Melmoth — 4 August, 2009 @ 12:07 PM

  12. Thanks for all the support. We both appreciate the kind words and thoughts.

    Comment by Psychochild — 4 August, 2009 @ 10:35 PM

  13. My heart goes out to you, truly it does. I have been living with a precious little cat who would have been orphaned if my family hadn’t taken him in for several years and to say he is an important part of our family would be by no means stretching the truth in the slightest. When you live with an animal for so long and let them into your family they cease being pets and become furry little humans and their passing can be just as painful as that of any blood relative.

    When I stop to think about Charlie passing on some day in the future it freezes my heart and renders me incapable of any logical thought. That pain is made all the worse when I consider that any attempt to prolong his existence might be made impossible due to insurmountable medical fees. I struggle with myself, wondering if I will have the means to provide for his survival but it is simply a question I cannot hope to answer, especially, as you say, in these economically troubled times.

    Even typing this out I find it difficult to hold back the tears, especially as he hops up onto my bed, seemingly oblivious to the fate that awaits him. But then I realize that the only thing that really matters is to treat him with love and care in the here and now, to help provide his life with the same meaning that he gives to my own. And when he does finally leave my side, I will always be able to find his spirit in the mark that he left on mine.

    I’m sure that Morpheus was glad for what time he was able to spend with you on this Earth and I hope you are able to always remember what he meant to you. But here I am rambling like a fool, so I must stop and extend to you what condolences I can in this difficult time.

    Comment by Alcasm — 5 August, 2009 @ 1:04 PM

  14. Don’t let anyone tell you that losing a pet isn’t like losing a family member.

    Comment by Azaroth — 6 August, 2009 @ 1:21 PM

  15. Sorry for your loss, Brian. He will live on in your memories.

    Comment by We Fly Spitfires — 6 August, 2009 @ 7:42 PM

  16. My heart goes out to you Brian. We lost our faithful German Shepherd Zeus a couple years ago. Life hasn’t been the same without him and we miss him dearly :(

    Comment by Wolfshead — 6 August, 2009 @ 11:51 PM

  17. I keep meaning to offer my condolences, but keep getting distracted. Sorry about that.

    May the cherished memories outweigh the loss. I suspect that’s likely. :)

    Comment by Tesh — 7 August, 2009 @ 9:38 AM

  18. LFM: Charitable Donations quest!

    [...] I think is worthwhile. Long time readers of the blog know that I’m a big softy when it comes to my cats. While I miss my fuzzy ones, some cats aren’t so lucky to have long and healthy lives. A lot of [...]

    Pingback by Psychochild’s Blog — 9 November, 2009 @ 1:00 AM

  19. I need some help

    [...] you've read my blog for some time, you know my cats are precious to me. I have a soft spot for the little guys, and I'm very much one that treats them [...]

    Pingback by Psychochild's Blog — 1 May, 2014 @ 10:39 AM

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