Psychochild's Blog

A developer's musings on game development and writing.

1 April, 2007

I quit
Filed under: — Psychochild @ 7:39 PM

On second thought, it’s just not worth it anymore. I’m just sick of dealing with stupid people.

It’s not just the recent discussions, it’s just something that’s been building for a long time. I’m fucking sick and tired of stupid people coming along and thinking they have the one magic bullet that dozens of really smart people spending decades thinking about the problems have somehow missed. Yes, that’s right, we’re all a bunch of fucking retards that couldn’t pour piss out of a boot with instructions on the bottom, thanks for finally noticing! *scream* The arrogance is just galling. No wonder Jessica stopped writing her column; pearls before swine, indeed.

And, don’t get me started on the fucking wannabes. I WATN 2 MAEK GAEM! Hey, fuckhead, then go make a goddamned game. Quit telling me how wonderful your ideas are and how much I suck for not using them. Maybe you’ll finally realize why we don’t listen to your aimless ramblings: because we’ve already thought of that idea and knew immediately it was the stupidest fucking thing we ever thought of. We just don’t feel like committing professional suicide to teach you how truly dumb your ideas are.

If it stopped there, perhaps I could tolerate it. After all, everyone works with idiotic co-workers and colleagues. But, no, then we have the goddamned players. “I want innovation!” “Will you pay for it?” “FUCK NO! Give me better stuff without raising the price! Oh, and it better be pretty!” Sorry, out of magic pixie dust today, bitch at me again tomorrow. Not that I have to tell you that, you’ll do it anyway. Ever thought about turning off the computer, leaving the basement, and trying to get laid? It might resolve some of those insecurity issues. A bit challenge, I know, because I wouldn’t fuck most of you even using SOE’s customer service.

Of course, that brings us to the larger issue: business. It’s a virtual parade of stupidity out there when it comes to business. “Let’s clone the popular game!” Well, maybe you should try something different. “Okay, let’s clone Second Life!” That’s so not what I fucking meant, shitbags! You wouldn’t know an original idea if Neil Gaiman came up and tattooed it on the inside of your eyelid so you could study it while sleeping. Then there’s the morons that say things like, “I have this new idea: it’s like an existing game, but…” STOP! You just defined “unoriginality” in a few sentence fragments. If you have to compare your idea to something else, you almost certainly do not have an original idea. And if I were to kill the mouth-breathers that come up with stupid shit like that, then *I* would be the criminal!

It’s just too fucking much anymore. I’m sick of it all, and I’m quitting this goddamned industry. The TV said there’s courses in motorcycle repair, and that’s sounding mighty appealing right now.

Fuck off and die,

-Brian

Personal to Jessica: See your email for my formal resignation.

P.S. Yes, it’s an April Fool’s joke. You can’t get rid of me that easily!
P.P.S. People are still stupid. :P


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26 Comments »

  1. You know, just tonight at dinner, we were talking about how one of my roommates knew a kid that shot up his school. There’s something familiar about this. Do you own any nuclear weapons? Are you going to the next GDC? Will it be an airborne delivery system, or are you going to use the underground railway system? (Genius, btw.)

    Comment by Michael Chui — 1 April, 2007 @ 9:01 PM

  2. At work, we figured out that there’s always demand for good electricians.

    (Guilty of never getting off my butt and actually finishing a game I start writing or designing, but I can still babble “I WATN 2 MAEK GAEM!” with the best of the wannabes.)

    Comment by Chris — 1 April, 2007 @ 9:28 PM

  3. I DN’TO WATN MAEK GAEMZ!

    [...] If you haven’t read what I assume to be Brian Green’s 04/01-inspired ‘resignation post‘, you should go do it. He swears a lot, and is generally fairly humorous. This diatribe is what I assume the experience is like at GDC Austin/AGC outside of the sessions, at night, in the bars around town. (As an aside, here’s hoping I get to buy some folks a much-deserved drink this year.) [...]

    Pingback by MMOG Nation — 1 April, 2007 @ 10:03 PM

  4. oh noes! plz don’t quit, brian!! I”LL make an original games! um… its goign to be based on merridian 59, but…

    Comment by Neol — 1 April, 2007 @ 10:16 PM

  5. I touched myself while reading this. No… really.

    Comment by Grimwell — 1 April, 2007 @ 11:06 PM

  6. I read the end of posts first on April 1st. Saves me reading the body of most of them.

    Comment by Andrew Crystall — 2 April, 2007 @ 3:24 AM

  7. Come now, Andrew, this post was a cleverly disguised rant. Everyone loves my rants! ;)

    Plus, it got Michael over at MMOGNation to write a pretty cool article. Go click on the trackback above and read it!

    Comment by Psychochild — 2 April, 2007 @ 3:52 AM

  8. Wow… and not even one reply asking “can I have your stuff?” Heh.

    And like all humor, it’s funny because of that kernel of truth at the core of it all…

    Comment by Craig Huber — 2 April, 2007 @ 4:33 AM

  9. P.S.:

    All of us analysts/programmers/techs out here in the business world (you know, those of us making twice as much and working half as hard)… well, we called an emergency conference of the Inner Cabal as a result of your announcement. Leaving off blogging was one thing… leaving the game “industry” itself was quite another, and I do not overstate to say shook the Cabal to it’s core.

    After due consideration, we would like to suggest “plumbing” as a possible next career choice. We’ve heard they make decent money.

    And we don’t want the competition.

    Sincerely,

    11010110
    Grand Poobah (5th Class)

    Comment by Craig Huber — 2 April, 2007 @ 4:42 AM

  10. You wouldn’t know an original idea if Neil Gaiman came up and tattooed it on the inside of your eyelid so you could study it while sleeping.

    That had me rolling. Great rant. Happy 4/1 to you too. ;)

    Comment by Scott Hartsman — 2 April, 2007 @ 8:56 AM

  11. Quit telling me how wonderful your ideas are and how much I suck for not using them. Maybe you’ll finally realize why we don’t listen to your aimless ramblings: because we’ve already thought of that idea and knew immediately it was the stupidest fucking thing we ever thought of. We just don’t feel like committing professional suicide to teach you how truly dumb your ideas are.

    This should be your new sig.

    Comment by Damion Schubert — 2 April, 2007 @ 12:45 PM

  12. Holy crap, I thought one of the guys I work with had started blogging ;)

    You know, the ones that always get me are the ones that are willing to accept you very quickly dispatched of their idea and that maybe you have thought about this before, but who instantly become your arch-nemesis when you refuse to walk them through the entire rest of the process and expound the entire design process that has persued this particular avenue over frustrating week after frustrating week before finally tabling or shelving the idea.

    The clincher is always the part where, amongst themselves, they finally come to the realization that the bit you pointed out is a fundamental, deal-breaking obstacle. And the original poster invariably comes back and says “well isn’t that their problem to solve? I don’t get why they aren’t working on this”

    Comment by Oliver Smith — 2 April, 2007 @ 8:39 PM

  13. I thought I’d repost a comment I left on another blog related to this post:

    As I said in other places, this was mostly an April Fool’s post. Mostly. The post was certain attitudes taken to extremes. This is part of what I think April Fool’s Day is all about: saying and doing things that you can’t say or do other times, with the hopes that someone gets the point.

    The biggest issue most devs have is what I say in my post: people who won’t take, “We know that won’t work,” as an answer. Even if we step through our reasoning, there’s always some room for wiggling and haggling and anybody with enough tenacity will always have enough ammunition to continue the fight.

    Note that this isn’t just an issue with people on forums. I’ve had to nip quite a few arguments in the bud in my current work. The difference is that as a lead designer and someone who influences who gets paid, I have more control over the argument. But, there’s a reason why people like Gordon Walton call the design process, “knifing your babies.” Sometimes it really sucks to have to dump your super-cool idea. The main difference between a professional and an amateur game designer is the ability to recognize your ideas with no future and being able to abandon them in the cradle.

    Of course, often the difference between a cool idea and a five-bagger is tiny indeed.

    Comment by Psychochild — 3 April, 2007 @ 5:20 PM

  14. The main difference between a professional and an amateur game designer is the ability to recognize your ideas with no future and being able to abandon them in the cradle.

    Agreed.

    Comment by Abalieno — 3 April, 2007 @ 7:59 PM

  15. Nice, but not as nice as Google’s free internet via commode. I wish I had saved the installation walkthrough.

    Comment by Aaron — 3 April, 2007 @ 9:40 PM

  16. The biggest issue most devs have is what I say in my post: people who won’t take, “We know that won’t work,” as an answer.

    Ironically, one of my great annoyances is devs who say “That doesn’t work; you can’t do that” while obviously not having a clue what they’re talking about — my favorite example being a dev who tried to convince me that there was absolutely no way on earth that one could copy a read/write property from one instance of an object to another. Oddly enough, when I got a copy of the scripts and wrote in Obj1.prop = Obj2.prop, it worked perfectly.

    Now, if a dev who I have an modicum of respect for says “you can’t do that; it doesn’t work”, then that’s different. (And, really, who would voluntarily try to work with a dev they don’t respect?)

    – in other words, there are idiots on both sides of the equation here.

    Comment by Trevel — 5 April, 2007 @ 10:31 AM

  17. Ironically, one of my great annoyances is devs who say “That doesn’t work; you can’t do that” while obviously not having a clue what they’re talking about….

    Ah, but the trick here is to know what a programmer means when he says, “I can’t do that.” This rarely means that no possible way to do this in the code. Rather, it usually means one of the following:

    a) I don’t know/understand how to do that.
    b) There are unintended consequences for doing that I don’t want to discuss.
    c) I don’t have the time to do that.

    The last one is the most interesting and the most complex. At larger companies, this often means, “I don’t have time to write up a proposal, build consensus with the team that it needs to be done, then have the time to implement it and make sure it gets properly tested.” In many large companies, there are processes in place to make sure changes aren’t made willy-nilly. These are good to have, because if every developer started making whatever changes they wanted, you’d have a lot more bugs. Yes, even more than you already see. :P

    I suspect in this case it was probably a. It could have been that your request was initially unclear. Hard to tell in this situation.

    Some more thoughts.

    Comment by Psychochild — 6 April, 2007 @ 2:49 AM

  18. Wow, I never realized that game designers who haven’t hit “The Bigtime” yet were such bitter fuckers…

    P.s. April Fools!!!

    Comment by Hitman the Red — 6 April, 2007 @ 7:34 AM

  19. Gaimen? Originality? Those two words don’t belong in the same sentence together:-P

    He really is the Blizzard of dark fantasy:-P

    Comment by Dan C — 6 April, 2007 @ 1:44 PM

  20. I thought Neverwhere was pretty original. Maybe I just need to read more often.

    Comment by Lat — 6 April, 2007 @ 9:25 PM

  21. Neverwhere was an awesome read, no doubt, but it felt just like American Gods, which has been done a million times by other authors:-P

    I’ll readily admit that Gaimen’s version was really good, but original? Nahhhh.

    Comment by Dan C — 7 April, 2007 @ 1:26 PM

  22. …in other words, there are idiots on both sides of the equation here.

    Yes, I’ve run into both.

    From:

    “All MMOs suck because they don’t implement Idea X!!! It’s my favorite Idea!!!”
    “We tried that in Title X, remember?”
    “But… that was just a bad implementation!!! The Idea is clean and pure!!!”

    To:

    “I wrote a demo that shows how to do Feature Y.”
    “That’s impossible!”
    “What part of ‘I wrote a demo’ did you not understand?”

    Comment by AFFA — 8 April, 2007 @ 7:24 PM

  23. Of “death” in CRPGs

    [...] My problem is that I’m not willing to take any of it and raise it to the level of “universal constant”, which is the way most of the writing comes across. This was the nit I would have picked with Psychochild’s insta-classic April Fools Day rant, as well. To my mind, dismissing ideas out of hand (even if it is the 157th time you’ve heard something like it) is a great way to miss the next good one. Context is everything, after all. “The ability to innovate is only as good as how one can accept changes and take risks.” – Franco Paolo Liu Eisma [...]

    Pingback by Voyages in Eternity — 10 April, 2007 @ 6:22 AM

  24. Come see me about that beer next time you’re in Austin.

    Comment by Yaxamie — 24 April, 2007 @ 1:50 PM

  25. Of course, Yax. :) Probably see you at the Austin GDC.

    Comment by Psychochild — 24 April, 2007 @ 10:36 PM

  26. WNAT 2 MAEK GAEM!

    [...] A little history: I moved to Austin to begin my career in video games on the advice of Brian Green. I was a long-time Maridian 59 player, which happens to be his game, so it seemed fitting that I title my site after one of his more colorful posts. [...]

    Pingback by imaekgaemz.com — 1 August, 2007 @ 9:46 PM

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