Psychochild's Blog

A developer's musings on game development and writing.

1 April, 2011

I believe in America!
Filed under: — Psychochild @ 12:29 AM

It is with great pride that I am announcing my intention to run for President of the United State in 2012! I plan to run as an independent and fight against those fatcats in Washington! Read on for my platform and some campaign materials for you to download!

It was after some careful consideration that I decided I wanted to run for president. I mean, I’ve spent enough time listening to customers whine, I might as well transfer that experience to something worthwhile. Not to mention highly profitable.

My platform is simple: I promise to fix bugs. All of them. Here are some examples:

1. Education I intend to design a better tutorial for our kids rather than continuing with the 12+ year process that seems to drag on and on.

2. Health Care I intend to increase the spawn rate of doctors and medical supplies to drive down costs.

3. Economy I intend to create something shiny and overpriced to drain excess money from the economy to control inflation. I’ll also set up a cash shop to give the government a needed influx of cash.

4. Employment I intend to increase the maximum number of employment quests people can hold at one time so they don’t get bogged down with half-finished tasks that they don’t want to drop from their employment quest log.

5. Legislation I intend to stop idiots from trying to abridge free speech by regulating video games to score cheap political points.

Excited about Psychochild 2012? I know I am! Here are some campaign materials you can use to get the word out!

Exciting bumper sticker!

A button to wear around town!

A banner for your blog or website!

Get the word out today!


  1. Why settle for the lesser evil?

    Comment by Rodolfo — 1 April, 2011 @ 12:49 AM

  2. You’ve got my vote… once they allow Australians to vote in US elections that is.

    Comment by Stropp — 1 April, 2011 @ 12:59 AM

  3. Happy April Fool’s Day! :)

    Comment by Muckbeast — 1 April, 2011 @ 1:28 AM

  4. There is a fatal flaw in your campaign; one that undermines all the good thinking and sound solutions to the problems of your great country. As a foreigner I almost feel it is inappropriate to get involved in US politics, but your platform is so overwhelming that I cannot remain silent. Elements of your campaign have strayed dangerously to the left, which left unchecked could undermine everything you stand for.

    I am referring of course to the justification of the word “Pyschochild” on your bumper sticker. Catch that errant text and bring it back to the center now!

    Comment by Al Riddoch — 1 April, 2011 @ 1:33 AM

  5. Doesn’t address my biggest concern at all: my class is completely nerfed! Will you fix that, too?

    Comment by unwesen — 1 April, 2011 @ 1:58 AM

  6. Hey we have elections here in Canada so why not come up here to practice a bit before running in the US. After 4 elections in 7 years chances are that you’ll still be able to run for 2012 anyway :)

    I also think your US citizenship should be valid here. Anyway a lot of people think we are the other US state so we stopped caring a long time ago about that silly stuff.

    Comment by Dave Toulouse — 1 April, 2011 @ 6:04 AM

  7. I like number 5, but I’d like it even more if it covered all censorship for political points. We must censor censorship!

    Does Canada actually have any citizenship or residency requirements for their elected offices? Somehow I doubt it. Enforcing that sounds like it would mean a lot of unfriendly letters and that sort of thing, you know, rude behavior. Besides, the Constitution (I mean the real one, the American one) says nothing about not being allowed to run for office in Canada, which makes it your Right as an American to Rule Canada.

    Comment by Klepsacovic — 1 April, 2011 @ 6:58 AM

  8. Rodolfo wrote:
    Why settle for the lesser evil?

    I’m running to restore honor and decency to the White House, not to enrich myself. Why would anyone be motivated for purely selfish reasons to run for the highest office in the land?

    Stropp wrote:
    You’ve got my vote… once they allow Australians to vote in US elections that is.

    Thank you for your bug report. The U.S. currently does not have ownership of Australia. We will certainly look at the data you have provided to see if we can remedy the situation in time.

    Al Riddoch wrote:
    Catch that errant text and bring it back to the center now!

    Thank you for your bug report. However, that feature is currently “by design”.

    unwesen wrote:
    [M]y class is completely nerfed! Will you fix that, too?

    I’m sorry, I cannot help thee with that. Maybe try rerolling?

    Dave Toulouse wrote:
    Hey we have elections here in Canada so why not come up here to practice a bit before running in the US.

    I have plenty of experience rigging polls based on my work on the internet. I do not believe I need more practice.

    Klepsacovic wrote:
    We must censor censorship!

    Sounds a bit recursive to me. Or is that iterative?

    Anyway, thank you for your wonderful support, everyone! I’m sure this will be the best election ever!

    Comment by Psychochild — 1 April, 2011 @ 8:55 AM

  9. All recursion can be done with iteration, and vice-versa. Heck, if it’s tail recursion, a good Lisp compiler will even convert it to iteration for you for free :)

    Comment by silver — 1 April, 2011 @ 5:26 PM

  10. All you need to do to fix the Australian bug is to talk to our Federal opposition, they wholeheartedly attempted to sell Australia to the US the last time they were in government. I’m sure they’ll resume negotiations the next time they form government.

    Comment by Stropp — 2 April, 2011 @ 12:15 AM

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